Tom Hanks has actually been in the news a lot lately, notably because he and his wife Rita Wilson were among the celebrities diagnosed with Covid-19.
It's been almost a month since the pandemic spread of coronavirus caused life as we know it to shut down, which means it's also been a month since we've had a new episode of Saturday Night Live on TV.
"It is a unusual time to be amusing", Hanks said, referring to the social-distancing practices now employed to stop the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic. "So, when they come in and they say, 'You're 36, ' which seemed very bad to me". Since no one wants to be around me very long and I make people uncomfortable.
"Basically, it's how Hollywood treats female actors", he quipped. Guest Larry David broadcast from home as Bernie Sanders broadcasting from home, discoursing on the primary ("Always a bridesmaid never the democratic nominee") and shaking hands: "The only greeting we need is the half wave; it's 50% hello and 50% eeeeh go away", which is about 80% David and 20% Sanders.
He also thanked hospital workers, first responders, and anyone working on the front lines: "the men and women who are keeping this country going".
United States reports first infant death linked to coronavirus
He continued: "It's especially sorrowful for the family of this very small child for the years stolen from this infant". The new coronavirus had led to the deaths of at least 99 people in IL out of more than 5,994 infections.
"Now, my wife and I, we're doing fine, we're doing great".
The weekly sketch and variety show, that features a different celebrity host for every episode, is in its forty-fifth season but had to stop filming because of the social distancing procedures needed to prevent the further spread of the virus. There was some recorded applause for Hanks at the top of his monologue, and for "Weekend Update", co-anchor Michael Che gathered a small teleconferencing audience because "telling jokes with nobody just looks like hostage footage".
"This suit, this is the first time I've worn anything other than sweatpants since March 11", he said sarcastically. "Now the folks in Australia are fantastic in every way but they use Celsius instead of Fahrenheit when they take your temperature", he said. The times we live in... what insane, crazy times... but at least there's stuff out there to make us laugh?
Hanks, who was recently called the fuck out by all of Australia and his son Colin for his excessive Vegemite consumption, quietly brushed off the question. Sure but will it make you laugh?
Zoom meetings was the medium of choice as the show's "cold open" featured a montage of the SNL cast members arrayed in an onscreen gallery.
The production is now suspended.